Saturday, August 28, 2010

Just keep swimming

Note to self: blogging before bed is not ideal.*yawn*

Yesterday afternoon and this morning i volunteered at the "Swimming Victoria  2010 Age Short Course Championships" (swim meet!). Here are some of my thoughts from the experience-

1. I wish i hadn't quit swimming
2. Swim suits just keep getting fancier and fancier
3. 10% of parents are verbally abusive toward volunteers
4. I felt like a secret service agent today when i got to wear the radio ear piece
5. Why did i quit swimming?
6. How do they DO that?!? (how did I ever do that?!?)- the level of physical strength and endurance necessary for swimming does not cease to amaze me.
7. it's nice to spend time in a humid warm environment (stupid winter, wtf australia!).
8. the pool is located on the corner of "nostalgia st" and "memory lane"
9. free t-shirt! woohoo!!!
10. I want a swimmers body (sorry, but it's true)

Overall, it was a good experience. I especially enjoyed getting some practice using my managing skills as the volunteer group leader. I think i'm meant to work with kids as opposed to adults. They're a bit easier to deal with even on bad days. (is this payback for something my own parents did at my sporting events?).

Softball finals start tomorrow. School continues. Planning mid semester break trip. 91 days, 9 hours, 7 minutes and 24 seconds until i land in Denver.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

its time!

Thought of the day- I find it amazing that we can experience time in so many different ways.

 Example-almost 6 weeks has passed since school started and i have no idea how the weeks go by so quickly. Hours pass effortlessly while i'm perusing facebook, twitter, one of my 3 emails, or getting stuck on YouTube (today it was GloZell, and i got Lena watching it too). An hour of class on the other hand- slower than (one of my favorite expressions) a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. Time seems to expand depending on the amount of stuff you squeeze into it, even though every second is the same length (or so we're told) it's almost as if it has an elastic quality. Time is a commodity, if we could purchase it, it would fly off the shelves faster than the new i-phone. And even though we cannot buy time, we can donate it through volunteering, so it is almost as if we somehow embody it (that's a bit too complicated for now)

This week, i'm giving some of my time away by volunteering friday night and saturday at a championship swim meet. I know that i need to get out of my room and that I enjoy volunteering. It goes along with my life theory that if you work for free you can always find a job. I couldn't get a research position because i'm not a graduate (screw that), so now i'm working for free, and guess what, lots of opportunities without a diploma. I also think i'm going to get to have fun with that little nostalgic buzz of the swim meet atmosphere.

Moral of the story- Time is elusive. However, once it has passed (whether you did something with it or not) you can't get it back. So here's to using the next 94 days and 8 hours to it's fullest potential.

Monday, August 23, 2010


After taking a full-on nap in my first lecture of the day i wasn't too keen to stay at Uni for my next two classes. The thought of having to re-live those lectures via lectopia (aka, online recordings) kept me from ditching. and i'm glad I stayed.

A strawberry (they didn't have raspberry) hot chocolate kept me warm in my (usually freezing) comparative animal physiology lecture. We learned about the cardiovascular system, interesting stuff, it made me wish Tina (the cardiologist on my softball team) was teaching the class.

The lecture on Vision and Identity in "Seeing the whole picture" struck a chord with some of my recent philosphical grapplings. The lecturer started out dicussing how the artistic medium through which something is presented, as well as the context in which it is recieved, have an effect on how it is interpreted. Identity is a projection, both in art, and in people. We want it to make sense to ourselves and to others. Therefore, who we really are inside is sort of irrelevant because it's what we project to the world as "who we are" that gets recognized--> Identity must be authenticated by a viewer.

In my opinion, who we see as the people around us are just manipulations of  "true personalities" (or their non-projected personality). How people dress is a perfect example. It's so easy to be something just by changing your clothes, hair or makeup, and it's also so easy to judge somebodys "personality" based on those external physical cues. But what are we really seeing?

I'm not a huge fan of getting dressed. I hardly ever feel like i really want to be wearing what it is that i put on. I don't feel like my clothes don't reflect who i am. Then again, I'm not really sure who that is.

I'm pretty sure i'm happiest when i'm able to be silly, creative, busy, and most importantly when i'm with the people i care about the most. It's easy to be myself with them because they are miraculously able show me that I make sense and spending time with them is absolutely effortless. Trying to make sense of who i am without them leads to a tailspin of introspective hooplah.

Maybe my lecturer was right. Identity relies on the recognition of a viewer. I don't have any control over other people's interpretation of me, so is it even worth trying to identify myself in order to show them who i am? They will probably see whatever they want to see regardless. Maybe eventually, just like with my best friends, their interpretation will coincide with my true personality, and I will be able to see a fleeting glimpse of "myself" through their eyes.

Until then, my friend Kat's advice- "let it go".

Acceptance of not knowing is a terrifying possiblity...

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Positive-ly sunday

Okay, so now it's like 97 days but whatever.

I have come to a realization that i've been letting negative thoughts regulate my behavioural (oh no, aussie spelling) patterns. Therefore, starting today, everytime I say something negative or have a negative thought i have to immediately turn it into one positive thing (which i have to say outloud to someone, if they are with me). The original plan was three positive things, but i got exhausted of that after like an hour. So one positive statement for every negativity.

Today we had 2 softball games and we won both of them. Thanks to Cara and Danielle i got a lot of reminders to be positive. I really enjoy spending my sundays with such amazing people, AND! it was SUNNY today, such a nice change from the...delightful (see i'm positive) rain we've been having lately.

Off to eat dinner now, and then i will get some homework done before volleyball at 8:30. Still have a few opportunities to be successful today. Cheesy but true. I'm working on it.

: P